I'm thinking too much!!

Raining day,
  This few days is raining and thunder is the most scary one. I watched a video got a person hit by the lighting but I don't know he still alive or not. I always can't make decision with my own and I'm also contradiction. I think I'm stupid because I don't know what is love. Even a girl that I never see before but I can miss her so much, just like now I saw that girl once only and I just know I want to know her. She don't know how to speak Chinese, she is from Singapore but that's not the main point. The feeling is weird but may be I'm too sensitive and easy to influence.
  Today I have totally enjoy with my friend and he makes my day. It happened in the last week with the same activity. Take breakfast with him, went to his house and then afternoon play snooker.
  But I'm not satisfy with my life because without challenge. I know that I have no enough money and talent to study. I feel like my life without a direction, have no one come to guide me. It's may be I haven't found my direction the way I should be. Everyone have a chance to be success but may be sometime they missed that. So I won't miss any chance in my life.

I'm not going to College!!

Raining Day,
  The college fee is too expensive, I can't bear up. So may be I will work first and then only continue to study. Yesterday morning, I going with my friend to the UCSI University. Their facility is good and the environment is great.
  I will upload my photos tomorrow. That photos is when we are over Genting Highland.
  That girl already decline my confession it is quite hurt. But it is not in real life and it is just in the internet. She is just different with others girl but I know we are impossible.

Future

Cloudy Day,
  What would happen in my future? That is control by me. I want my future to be bright. I should continue study!! Now I really confuse with my course but I already choose so I won't regret with my decision. I choose that course but I afraid that I can't bear up that pressure.
  Ok now talk about recent. Yesterday is my last day at Camel Active work and the most i care one is the salary. This is my first working experience and this is just the story of mine to begin. I hope my way will be easy, despite if the road is not easy I also will continue to finish it.
  Finally, I got my P license and start drive at my house area. Just now drive to IOI to have lunch with my mum but I think my mum leg is shaking.
  I really hope that I can be successful in future!